JUL 11, 2011 – 12:00AM

I hear Serious Cyclists all the time saying that solo riders are missing out on the best part of the sport.

These Serious Cyclists contend that riding in a pack is the best way to improve bike-handling skills and speed and bask in the camaraderie that is Serious Cycling.

Of course, Serious Cyclists give voice to all sorts of similar truths.

Among my favorites:

“To ride faster, you have to ride faster.”

“To climb better, you have to climb better.”

And my personal favorite, “It never gets easier. You only get faster.”

Serious Cyclists also have been known to utter such gems as, “Sacre blue! My, but your legs are hair-eee!!” And, “Personally, I prefer Nair.”

OK, I made those last two up. Not all Serious Cyclists affect atrocious French accents (some prefer Italian), and no Serious Cyclist would dare Nair. Gillette Venus is the only way to denude below the belt, I’m told.

(Lest any Serious Cyclists get their Lycra in a bunch, I promise to make fun of transportation cyclists, mountain bikers, commuters, recumbent riders, fixie hipsters and all other two-wheeled folks in future blogs because, really, why not compartmentalize and pigeonhole an already fringe minority?)

Anyway, the theory espoused by said Serious Cyclists holds that solo cycling has its place, but only by riding in a group (or peloton or gaggle, depending on whether it’s a group ride, a race or a gathering of geese) can an Aspiring Serious Cyclist learn how to “draft” and “hold a wheel” and not get “dropped” and “put quotes around terms that really don’t need punctuation.”

And I’m sure there’s some truth to that, but I’ve never participated in a group ride.

It’s not that I fear getting dropped — left behind — or that I’m antisocial. I’ve been dropped so many times, I’ve lost all fear, and I’m more ambi-social. That is, I don’t dislike my fellow humans so much as I don’t really care if I’m around others or not. (The exception is my family, of course, with whom I’m contractually obligated to spend time).

The big thing for me is the timing of most group rides.

Normal folks like to ride on evenings and weekends, and that’s when I work. I’d gladly hook up with a ride-to-work peloton, but very few share my fouled-up hours. The flip side is that I get to ride mornings and afternoons during the week. By myself.

That said, I have participated in several organized rides — Octaginta, Hotter ‘N’ Hell 100, Lizard Under the Skillet, plus more disease rides than I can recall — though I’m not sure they’ve done much to hone my cycling skills, unless you consider sailing Lycra end over helmet after some yahoo rode me into a crater during the Hotter ‘N’ Hell century a skill.

All of which was a roundabout way to lead up to the fact there’s a chance for cyclists of all levels of seriousness to participate in a big organized ride on Saturday. The first Community Bike Ride will be 9-11 a.m. Saturday at the Rotary Arboretum at Clinton Park. It features rides of one, three or eight miles and other activities.

In an interesting twist — one that might even qualify as irony — I likely won’t attend Saturday. The night before (or, more accurately, that same morning), I’ll be riding with my family in the Lenexa Midnight Bike Ride.

After bagging on the Lenexans for their event a couple of years ago (I believe I referred to it as hell on wheels), I felt obligated to return after they changed things up, and it has become a fond family tradition. (The ride, that is, not bagging on Lenexans). Thus, I’m afraid I’ll be in for a late night, and I doubt I’ll be able to drag my sorry carcass out of bed for my community’s community ride.

Otherwise, I’d be there — hairy, slow legs, awful bike-handling skills and all.