JUL 16, 2010 – 12:00AM

First, a theory: Nothing cyclists do upsets motorists — and, heck, pedestrians, motorcyclists and, for all I know, RVers, scooterers and mo-pedophiles — more than running traffic signals.

Now, feel free to disagree, and if you do, please, by all means, let me know about it in the comments section below. Don’t be shy. I know something about the cloak of anonymity granted online commenters tends to make people shy, but, please, speak your mind.

Sure, folks get bent out of shape when cyclists split lanes, pass on the right, wear spandex, shave their legs and ride two, three or four abreast on country roads, but I reckon running red lights and stop signs is Pet Peeve No. 1.

I’ve thought about it a lot lately, after one particularly illuminating ride to work the other day.

Just a couple of blocks from home, I approached a three-way intersection. The road I was on was uncontrolled. The perpendicular road to my right was controlled by a stop sign.

As I approached the intersection, a woman on a bike breezed through the stop without slowing. Though she was far enough ahead of me there was no risk of collision, I figure a vehicle going close to the posted 35 mph would have had to take some evasive maneuver to avoid her.

Immediately, I was annoyed, though she posed no danger to me or anyone else, for that matter.

I followed her for a few blocks, and she barely slowed for either of the two other stop signs that we encountered.

With that experience fresh in my mind, I was mere yards from work when I approached the four-way, light-controlled intersection at Seventh and New Hampshire.

I was headed east and had the green.

I was going to hop onto the sidewalk on the west side of New Hampshire, since that’s where I work, but there was a pedestrian waiting to cross there.

Rather than inconvenience her, I decided to turn left on New Hampshire.

A car approached from the east, and as I waited for it to clear the intersection, I saw a woman approach Seventh from the north on a bike. She passed, on the right, two cars stopped at the red light and stopped. As soon as the traffic cleared allowing me to turn, I began to do so … and was surprised to see the woman on the bike had decided to jump the red.

So I was forced to grab a handful of brake and swerve to avoid creaming her; she merely rode through the red and continued on her merry way.

Two instances on the same ride made me think about cyclists rolling through stoplights/signs, and I was annoyed with both.

The first I chalk up to Ferris Bueller Syndrome.

Remember the American cinematic classic “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?” I’m thinking specifically of the scene in the police station, wherein the title character’s sister, Jeannie, is stewing over her brother’s penchant for screwing around and not getting caught.

A strung-out-looking Charlie Sheen turns to her and says, “Drugs?”

Jeannie: “Thank you, no. I’m straight.”

Druggie Sheen: “I meant, are you in here for drugs?”

Jeannie: “Why are you here?”

Druggie Sheen: “Drugs.”

Good stuff.

Anyway, he goes on to ask her about just why she’s so put out about her brother, and he makes the point that she’s just jealous Ferris was getting away with something he shouldn’t be doing, when it fact it didn’t affect her at all.

Hence, the Ferris Bueller Syndrome to explain why some folks get so mad when they see cyclists running signals. They have the discipline to stop — because they feel obligated to observe the law, are afraid of getting caught, know it to be safer, whatever — and are angered to see cyclists who don’t have the same discipline and flout the law.

In the second case, I was put in jeopardy by a cyclist who valued her time more than my safety. She also put herself in danger, though, honestly, that’s her right, too.

For the record, I’m a compulsive stopper.

Yes, I’ve slow-rolled a few — in all honestly, few vehicles, whether two-, three- or four-wheeled, truly come to a full and complete stop every time — but usually only do so in an effort to aid traffic flow, not my own progress. Never do I roll a stop in order to proceed out of turn. And on the rare occasion I do pull a no-cop-no-stop stop, I fully expect to suffer any repercussions that ensue.

If I get yelled at for rolling a signal (and I have, just as I have for coming to a full stop and hindering traffic flow waiting for me to get out of the way), I figure I deserve it. Flip me off? Bring it. If I get a ticket, yeah, my bad, where do I pay my fine?

But if I get taken out by some nimrod running a red, that’s on the nimrod.