JUL 10, 2009 – 12:00AM

We had a few neighbors over for the Fourth, for grilling, imbibing and a bit of civil disobedience that may or may not have involved the use of illegal pyrotechnic devices.

At one point, a neighbor peered inside our garage and remarked, “Boy, you sure have a lot of bikes.”

My wife replied with a familiar line: “One’s mine. The kids each have one. The rest,” she said, with a nod toward me, “are his.”

I couldn’t tell if an eye-roll followed.

I considered launching into my usual spiel about how each has a specific purpose and how I ride ’em all, but I swallowed my retort — and most of another beer — and muttered something about having bikes covering the whole spectrum.

Hmm … spectrum.

By that, I meant I had a mountain bike for off-road rides, a go-fast road bike for recreational rides, a practical fixed-gear commuter, etc.

But my pea brain by then had spun off on another tangent, and I started wondering if I had owned bikes covering the whole color spectrum.

So I consulted my good friend Roy G. Biv. Here’s what Roy had to say:

Red: I have a special fondness for red bikes. The first bike I chose to ride — not a hand-me-down from my big brother — was a sweet cardinal-red Schwinn SX-1000 BMX bike I think I wheeled-and-dealed from a classmate. The first bike I bought as an adult was a red hybrid. And I have a cheapo red frame waiting to be built up from parts-bin parts to serve on the trainer in the basement. So, yeah, I like red. Besides, everybody knows all the fastest bikes are red …

Orange: My first serious road bike — still have it, of course — is an orange Cannondale. Technically, it’s “tangelo,” but it’s orange. Bright orange.

Yellow: The first bike I can remember was another Schwinn — yellow, with the banana seat and Y-bars. My dad happened upon a three-speed gear he put on with a grip shift and tried to convince me it was cool. I wasn’t buying it. I might have been the only kid in school with a multispeed bike, but that gear box hanging off the side was embarrassing.

Green: My Bianchi cyclocross bike features Bianchi’s signature “celeste” paint. It’s a lovely shade, actually, slightly on the green side of green-blue. (As an aside, back when I was a sexist lout, I used to say the biggest difference between men and women is the number of colors they can identify. Now that I’m no longer sexist, I don’t say that as much).

Blue: My Giant mountain bike is mostly black, but it has blue highlights. And I have a gorgeous old, steel Schwinn road frame I plan to build into a fair-weather, vintage fixed-gear painted in a luscious midnight-blue-to-black fade. Stunning.

Indigo, violet: OK, my list runs out in the shortest wavelengths. My daughter, however, rocks a violet bike, bless her heart. I almost pulled the trigger on a gorgeous pink steel frame on eBay a few years ago. It was made by the longtime Italian builder Faggin. As much as I coveted the frame, I didn’t think I had the below-the-belt fortitude — by that, I mean the legs, of course — to cruise around town on a hot-pink Faggin.

And then there are some colors outside Mr. Biv’s purview. As much as I’d like a pure ultraviolet or infrared bike, I fear that won’t happen, so I’ll have to settle for all colors and the absence of color: black and white or white and black, depending on whether we’re using the additive or subtractive color wheels.

My old fixed-gear commuter was a lovely stealthy matte black, a great color in the daytime, not so good at night. And everybody knows all the fastest bikes are black …

My current go-fast road bike is white, and I’ve come to learn white just might be the fastest color. Except when I’m on it.

My current commuter rig is silver, so I’ve got one of the metallics covered, though I fear I’ll never be able to afford — nor if I could, I fear I’d never be able to bring myself actually to ride — a 50th anniversary Schwinn Paramount with its lovely gold-plated fork.

And then there are some tweener colors.

I have an old battleship-gray mountain bike, but that’s really just light black.

I’ve never swung a leg over a brown bike, nor have I seen many, now that I think about it, though I do know a manufacturer that makes a steel fixie with what it calls a “root beer” paint job, and it’s absolutely stunning.

Truth be told, I’m not too hung up on the color of my bikes. I’ve heard some especially vain cyclists insist their helmets, clothes and bikes match, but that takes too much effort — not to mention cash — for me.

I’d take functional and motley over coordinated any day.

A quick glance in the mirror confirms that’s my mantra for more than just bikes.