MAY 14, 2010 – 12:00AM

I don’t mean to brag, and I swear I don’t have a god complex, let alone a God complex.

But … I can control the weather.

I don’t mean I can make it snow in the middle of July, or sizzle in the depths of winter, but when it comes to precip, I’m a walkin’, talkin’ stormbringer. Or droughtmeister.

I’ll ride my bike in just about any kind of weather, but I’m particularly wimpy about rain. I don’t mind riding in light, steady rain, but I won’t ride in a downpour or a thunderstorm.

Trouble is, this is Kansas, and the weather is so unpredictable, an evening with a 30-percent chance of light showers quickly can turn into a light-up-the-sky gullywasher at night.

I generally err on the side of caution, but sometimes it’s a gamble.

I remember a couple of years ago, I had uncanny good luck on the bike. It seems whenever I decided to risk it and ride, I was rewarded with dry pavement. Whenever I played it safe, I was vindicated with a frog-choker. I might have been caught out a time or two, but I was blessed.

Last year was more of a crapshoot. Sometimes I lucked out; sometimes I didn’t.

This year, my luck has shifted completely to the bad side, hence my conviction I’m not so much a victim of bad weather, but the one controlling it.

Almost invariably, if I wimp out and drive to work, the clouds dry up and blow away, and I walk out from work, make the walk of shame to the parking lot, glance up at the stars twinkling down, kick up dust on the pavement and kick myself for not having ridden.

But if I risk it — after monitoring weather.com and plotting storms on the radar maps and calculating wind speeds and dew points and decide there’s window enough for a dry ride — look out. Invariably, I’ll make it to work, but as the time to depart approaches, the seas start to boil and the heavens erupt and the sky starts falling.

Even my co-workers have noticed my uncanny ability to make it rain. Or, worse, keep it from starting.

So, if you know of any third-world countries in need of a little precip or participants in outdoor weddings who want to stay dry, have ’em drop me a line.

I wouldn’t want to keep this awesome power to myself.

Bike to Work meet-up in works

To mark National Bike to Work Day on May 21, The World Company will host a meet-up that morning somewhere downtown. Tentative plans call for donuts (yum, donuts) and coffee for bike commuters. Plans are coming together, and I’ll be sure to fill you in with they are solidified.If you’re interested and have any suggestions, please drop me a virtual line.