MAY 21, 2010 – 12:00AM

I was riding home from racquetball the other day when I approached the intersection of Wakarusa Drive and Bob Billings Parkway.

There, on the sidewalk, I noticed a man. He was wearing a heavy trench coach. Carrying a vacuum.

Here I’ll pause to let that sink in a little.

It was a rare warm, sunny day, and the guy was wearing a trench coat and carrying a vacuum cleaner.

OK, I thought, maybe he’s a house cleaner. He just got off work in an air-conditioned office building and is waiting for a bus to take him home.

Unlikely, but possible.

I rolled to a stop, and he beelined for me.

Uh oh, I thought. This can’t be good …

The guy walked right up to me and, to my surprise, patted me on my (bare) lower leg.

“You have a nice calf,” he said, not at all lecherously.

Uh, thanks?

Then he patted my on my bare arm. (Despite what I might have written in my last blog, I was dressed — in shorts and a T-shirt).

“And you have a nice arm,” he said.

Uh, thanks again?

Then he tapped me on the chest.

“And you have a nice heart,” he said.

At this point, I wasn’t sure what to say, but I was certain I wanted his tour of my anatomy to stop.

“You’re a nice man,” he said, then turned around to step back on the curb.

I thought the odd interaction over, but the light was still red, and my newfound admirer apparently wasn’t finished.

He turned on his heel.

“Say, I need to get downtown,” he said. “Can you help me?”

I didn’t have a dime on me, and I wasn’t about to give him a lift on my bike.

But I pointed out the bus stop sign just a few feet away and suggested if he could afford it he could hop aboard the next bus.

“Bless you,” he said, then gave me a hug.

So there I was, astride a bike, in the traffic lane with a light that had just changed to green, being hugged by a stranger-than-stranger.

What’s a guy to do?

I patted him on the back in that universal, uncomfortable don’t-hug-me-hug, told him “nice coat” and “good luck,” then pedaled away.

I had a good couple of blocks to replay the whole bizarre scene in my mind. It has to be one of the top five odd human interactions I’ve had this week.

And I have a bike to thank for it.

After all, no way would he have approached me in a car.

As it was, I got three or four compliments and a hug out of the deal.

And one weird story.