APR 17, 2009 – 12:00AM

When I drive, I’m the most law-abiding citizen I know.

I don’t speed.

I don’t roll stop signs.

Heck, I’ve even been known to pull off to the side of the road to talk on my cell.

Still, whenever I see a police cruiser, I get nervous.

Maybe it’s human nature.

But I find myself nervously checking and rechecking the speedometer, making sure I’m in my lane and not tailgating. And even though I’m not speeding in the first place, I slow down, turning myself into the dreaded parade-maker.

Once, one dreary winter night as I was driving home, one of Lawrence’s finest popped a quick U-turn to pull me over.

He asked if I knew why.

Swallowing the smart-alecky response that maybe I’d been profiled, I politely guessed, “Uh, random drunk check?”

“No, why, have you been drinking?”

“Actually, you and I are probably the only ones out here who haven’t been drinking,” I replied.

The Man chuckled, ran my info and let me off with a warning that one of my brake lights was out. Then he thanked me for being so cooperative.

Though I might tread a bit guiltily when in the presence of the Po-Po when I’m in my car, I’m downright tickled to see coppers when I’m on my bike, especially for my early-morning rides home.

I figure it’s because just about everybody reacts as I do when Five-O is around. Everybody slows down and gets super-cautious, and when you’re outweighed by a ton or so by the other contraptions on the road, a little extra slow and a little extra caution can be a good thing.

It’s not necessarily that I figure a cop is going to maneuver his cruiser deftly between little ol’ me and some careening, out-of-control drunk. But I reckon most impaired drivers will take one look at the fuzz and … pick another route home, letting me pedal home undisturbed.

Since I ride like I drive, I’m not really worried I’ll be pulled over when I’m on my bike.

However, I would like to be ticketed — just once — for speeding on my bike. I’d probably pay the fine, then ask for a copy of the citation for framing. Now if only I could find a speed limit I could exceed.